Alice in Wonderland / A Dramatization of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass"
Summary
Play Sample
Larger Image
King: I only wish I had such eyes; to be able to see Nobody!
King
Just look along the road and tell me if you can see either of my messengers.
Alice
I see nobody on the road.
King
I only wish I had such eyes; to be able to see Nobody!And at that distance too!Why, it’s as much as I can do to see real people, by this light.
Alice
I see somebody now!But he’s coming very slowly—and what curious attitudes he goes into—skipping up and down, and wriggling like an eel.
King
Not at all, those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes.He only does them when he’s happy.I must have two messengers, you know—to come and go.One to come and one to go.
Alice
I beg your pardon?
King
It isn’t respectable to beg.
Alice
I only meant that I didn’t understand.Why one to come and one to go?
King
Don’t I tell you?I must have two—to fetch and carry.One to fetch, and one to carry.
March Hare
[Enters, pants for breath—waves his hands about and makes fearful faces at the King.]
King
You alarm me!I feel faint—give me a ham sandwich.Another sandwich!
March Hare
There’s nothing but hay left now.
King
Hay, then.There’s nothing like eating hay when you’re faint.
Alice
I should think throwing cold water over you would be better.
King
I didn’t say there was nothing better; I said there was nothing like it.
King
Who did you pass on the road?
March Hare
Nobody.
King
Quite right; this young lady saw him too.So of course Nobody walks slower than you.
March Hare
I do my best; I’m sure nobody walks much faster than I do.
King
He can’t do that; or else he’d have been here first.However, now you’ve got your breath, you may tell us what’s happened in the town.
March Hare
I’ll whisper it.
[Much to Alice’s surprise, he shouts into the King’s ear.]
They’re at it again!
King
Do you call that a whisper? If you do such a thing again, I’ll have you buttered. It went through and through my head like an earthquake. Give me details, quick!
[The King and March Hare go out, followed by Five, Seven, and Nine Spots.]
Duchess
[Runs in and tucks her arm affectionately into Alice’s.]
You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!
Alice
Oh!
Duchess
You’re thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk.I can’t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.
Alice
Perhaps it hasn’t one.
Duchess
Tut, tut, child!Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.
[Squeezes closely, digs her chin into Alice’s shoulder, and roughly drags Alice along for a walk.]
Alice
The game’s going on rather better now.
Duchess
’Tis so, and the moral of that is—“Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes the world go round!”
Alice
Somebody said, that it’s done by everybody minding their own business.
Duchess
Ah, well! It means much the same thing, and the moral of that is—“Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.”
Alice
How fond you are of finding morals in things.
Duchess
I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist.The reason is, that I’m doubtful about the temper of your flamingo.Shall I try the experiment?
Alice
He might bite.
Duchess
Very true; flamingoes and mustard both bite.And the moral of that is—“Birds of a feather flock together.”
Alice
Only mustard isn’t a bird.
Duchess
Right, as usual; what a clear way you have of putting things.
Alice
It’s a mineral, I think
Duchess
Of course it is; there’s a large mustard mine near here.And the moral of that is—“The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours.”
Alice
Oh!I know, it’s a vegetable.It doesn’t look like one, but it is.
Duchess
I quite agree with you, and the moral of that is—“Be what you would seem to be;” or, if you’d like it put more simply, “Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.”
Alice
I think I should understand that better if I had it written down, but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.
Duchess
That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose.
Alice
Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that.
Duchess
Oh, don’t talk about trouble; I make you a present of everything I’ve said as yet.
Alice
Uhm!
Duchess
Thinking again?
Alice
I’ve got a right to think.
Duchess
Just about as much right as pigs have to fly, and the moral—
[The arm of the Duchess begins to tremble and her voice dies down.The Queen of Hearts stands before them with folded arms and frowning like a thunderstorm.]
Duchess
A fine day, your Majesty.
Queen
Now, I give you fair warning, either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time.Take your choice!
[The Duchess goes meekly into the house.]
Queen
Let’s go on with the game.
[She goes off and shouts at intervals, “Off with his head; off with her head.”]
Cat
How are you getting on?
Alice
It’s no use speaking to you till your ears have come.I don’t think they play at all fairly and they all quarrel so and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular.And you’ve no idea how confusing it is with all the things alive; there’s the arch I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground—and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming.
[Music begins.]
Cat
How do you like the Queen?
Alice
Not at all; she’s so extremely—
[The King, Queen and entire court enter.The Queen is near to Alice. The music stops and all look at Alice questioningly.]
[Alice tries to propitiate the Queen.]
—likely to win,
[Music continues.]
that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.
[Queen smiles and passes on.]
King
Who are you talking to?
Alice
It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat—allow me to introduce it.
King
I don’t like the look of it at all; however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.
Cat
I’d rather not.
King
Don’t be impertinent and don’t look at me like that.
Alice
A cat may look at a king.I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.
King
Well, it must be removed.My dear!I wish you would have this cat removed.
Queen
Off with his head!
Knave
But you can’t cut off a head unless there’s a body to cut it off from.
King
Anything that has a head can be beheaded.
Queen
If something isn’t done about it in less than no time, I’ll have everybody executed, all round.
Alice
It belongs to the Duchess; you’d better ask her about it.
Duchess
It’s a lie!
Cat
You’d better ask me.Do it if you can.
[It grins away.The Duchess and Frog escape into the house.]
Queen
Cut it off!
King
It’s gone.
Everybody
It’s gone!It’s gone!Where, where, where—
Queen
Cut it off.Cut them all off!
Everybody
No, no, no!
Alice
Save me, save me!
Knave
[Shouts to Alice and gives her a tart for safety.]
Take a tart!
Queen
[Seeing Alice stand out a moment from the others.]
Cut hers off!Cut hers off!
Others
[Glad to distract Queen’s attention from themselves.]
Cut hers off, cut hers off, cut—
Alice
[Cries in fear and takes a quick bite at the tart.If there is a trap door on the stage Alice disappears down it, leaving the crowd circling around the hole screaming and amazed. If the stage has no trap door, a bridge is built across the footlights with stairs leading down into the orchestra pit. When the crowd is chasing Alice she jumps over the footlights onto the bridge and as the curtain is falling dividing her from the crowd she appeals to the audience, “Save me, save me, who will save me?”and runs down the stairs and disappears.]
CURTAIN
ACT III
SCENE ONE
Is a garden of high, very conventional and artificial looking flowers.On a large mushroom sits the Caterpillar smoking a hookah. Alice is whirling about trying to get her equilibrium after her fall.She goes to the mushroom timidly and, conscious of her size, for her chin reaches the top of the mushroom, she gazes at the Caterpillar wonderingly.He looks at her lazily and speaks in a languid voice.
Caterpillar
Who are you?
Alice
I—I hardly know, sir, just at present.The Queen frightened me so and I’ve had an awfully funny fall down a tunnel or a sort of well.At least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
Caterpillar
What do you mean by that?Explain yourself.
Alice
I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, because I’m not myself, you see.Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.
Caterpillar
You!Who are you?
Alice
I think you ought to tell me who you are, first.
Caterpillar
Why?
[As Alice turns away.]
Come back.I’ve something important to say.
[Alice comes back.]
Keep your temper.
Alice
Is that all?
Caterpillar
No.
[He puffs at the hookah in silence; finally takes it out of his mouth and unfolds his arms.]
So you think you’re changed, do you?
Alice
I’m afraid I am, Sir; I don’t keep the same size.
Caterpillar
What size do you want to be?
Alice
I don’t know.At least I’ve never been so small as a caterpillar.
Caterpillar
[Rears angrily.]
It is a very good height indeed.
Alice
But I’m not used to it; I wish you wouldn’t all be so easily offended.
Caterpillar
You’ll get used to it in time.
Alice
Are you too big or am I too small?
[She compares her height wonderingly with the tall flowers.]
Caterpillar
[Looks at her sleepily, yawns, shakes himself, slides down from the mushroom and crawls slowly away.]
One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.
Alice
One side of what?The other side of what?
Caterpillar
Of the mushroom.
[Alice hesitates, then embraces mushroom and picks bit from each side.]
[Three gardeners representing spades enter carrying brushes and red paint cans.]
Two-Spot
Look out now, Five.Don’t go splashing paint over me like that.
Five-Spot
I couldn’t help it.Seven jogged my elbow.
Seven-Spot
That’s right, Five, always lay the blame on others.
Five-Spot
You’d better not talk.I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded.
Two-Spot
What for?
Seven-Spot
That’s none of your business, Two.
Five-Spot
Yes, it is his business, and I’ll tell him.It was for bringing the cook tulip roots instead of onions.
Seven-Spot
Well, of all the unjust things—
[Sees Alice; others look around, all bow.]
Alice
Could you please tell me what side to eat?
[Five and Seven look at Two.]
Two-Spot
I don’t know anything about it.
[He paints a white rose, red.]
You ought to have been red, we put you in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find it out we should all have our heads cut off.
[A thumping is heard off stage and the music grows louder and louder.]
Alice
What’s that?
Five-Spot
The White Chess Queen.
Seven-Spot
Don’t let her see what we are doing.
Two-Spot
She’ll tell on us.
Seven-Spot
Run out and stop her from coming here.
Five-Spot
[To Alice as she runs to the right.]
No, no, the other way.
Alice
But she’s off there!
Two-Spot
You can only meet her by walking the other way.
Alice
Oh!what nonsense.
All the Gardeners
Go the other way!
Alice
[Re-enters in dismay and dashes out to the left.]
She’s running away from me.
[The White Queen backs in from right and Alice backs in from left.They meet.The gardeners cry “The Queen” and throw themselves flat upon the ground; their backs are like the backs of the rest of the pack.Music stops. Alice looks at the Queen curiously.]
Alice
Oh, there you are!Why, I’m just the size I was when I saw you last.
White Queen
Of course you are, and who are these?I can’t tell them by their backs.
[She turns them over with her foot.]
Turn over.Ah!I thought so!Get up!What have you been doing here?
Two-Spot
May it please your Majesty, we were trying—
White Queen
[Examines rose.]
I see!Begone, or I’ll send the horses after you, and tell the Queen of Hearts.
[Gardeners rush off.The Red Queen enters. Alice has gone to the mushroom again to look at its sides and there to her amazement finds a gold crown and scepter, which she immediately appropriates.Music.The Queens watch Alice superciliously. Alice puts on her crown, proudly exclaiming in great elation, “Queen Alice,” and walks down stage bowing right and left to the homage of imaginary subjects.She repeats as if scarcely daring to believe it true, “Queen Alice.”Music stops.]
Red Queen
Ridiculous!
Alice
Isn’t this the Eighth Square?
Red Queen
You can’t be a Queen, you know, till you’ve passed the proper examination.
White Queen
The sooner we begin it, the better.
Alice
Please, would you tell me—
Red Queen
Speak when you’re spoken to.
Alice
But if everybody obeyed that rule, and if you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody would ever say anything, so that—
Red Queen
Preposterous.
Alice
I only said “if.”
Red Queen
She says she only said “if.”
White Queen
[Moans and wrings her hands.]
But she said a great deal more than that.Ah, yes, so much more than that.
Red Queen
So you did, you know; always speak the truth—think before you speak—and write it down afterwards.
Alice
I’m sure I didn’t mean—
Red Queen
That’s just what I complained of. You should have meant! What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning—and a child’s more important than a joke, I hope. You couldn’t deny that, even if you tried with both hands.
Alice
I don’t deny things with my hands
Red Queen
Nobody said you did.I said you couldn’t if you tried.
White Queen
She’s in that state of mind, that she wants to deny something—only she doesn’t know what to deny!
Red Queen
A nasty, vicious temper.I invite you to Alice’s dinner party this afternoon.
White Queen
And I invite you
Alice
I didn’t know I was to have a party at all; but if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests.
Red Queen
We gave you the opportunity of doing it, but I dare say you’ve not had many lessons in manners yet.
Alice
Manners are not taught in lessons; lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort.
White Queen
Can you do addition?What’s one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?
Alice
I don’t know.I lost count.
Red Queen
She can’t do addition; can you do subtraction?Take nine from eight.
Alice
Nine from eight I can’t, you know, but—
White Queen
She can’t do subtraction.Can you do division?Divide a loaf by a knife—what’s the answer to that?
Alice
I suppose—
Red Queen
[Answers for her.]
Bread and butter, of course.Try another subtraction sum.Take a bone from a dog; what remains?
Alice
The bone wouldn’t remain, of course, if I took it—and the dog wouldn’t remain; it would come to bite me—and I’m sure I shouldn’t remain.
Red Queen
Then you think nothing would remain?
Alice
I think that’s the answer.
Red Queen
Wrong as usual; the dog’s temper would remain.
Alice
But I don’t see how—
Red Queen
Why, look here; the dog would lose its temper, wouldn’t it?
Alice
Perhaps it would.
Red Queen
Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!
Alice
They might go different ways! What dreadful nonsense we are talking.
Both Queens
She can’t do sums a bit!
Alice
Can you do sums?
White Queen
I can do addition, if you give me time—but I can’t do subtraction under any circumstances.
Red Queen
Of course you know your A, B, C?
Alice
To be sure I do.
White Queen
So do I; we’ll often say it over together, dear.And I’ll tell you a secret—I can read words of one letter.Isn’t that grand?However, don’t be discouraged.You’ll come to it in time.
Red Queen
Can you answer useful questions?How is bread made?
Alice
I know that!You take some flour—
White Queen
Where do you pick the flower?In a garden or in the hedges?
Alice
Well, it isn’t picked at all. It’s ground—
White Queen
How many acres of ground?You mustn’t leave out so many things.
Red Queen
Fan her head!She’ll be feverish after so much thinking.
[They fan her with bunches of leaves which blow her hair wildly.]
Alice
Please—please—
Red Queen
She’s all right again now.Do you know languages?What’s the French for fiddle-de-dee?
Alice
Fiddle-de-dee’s not English.
Red Queen
Who ever said it was?
Alice
If you tell me what language fiddle-de-dee is, I’ll tell you the French for it!
Red Queen
Queens never make bargains!
Alice
I wish Queens never asked questions!
White Queen
Don’t let us quarrel; what is the cause of lightning?
Alice
The cause of lightning is the thunder—no, no!I meant the other way.
Red Queen
It’s too late to correct it; when you’ve once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences.
White Queen
We had such a thunderstorm next Tuesday, you can’t think.
Red Queen
She never could, you know.
White Queen
Part of the roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in—and it went rolling round the room in great lumps—and knocking over the tables and things—till I was so frightened, I couldn’t remember my own name!
Alice
I never should try to remember my name in the middle of an accident. Where would be the use of it?
Red Queen
You must excuse her.She means well, but she can’t help saying foolish things, as a general rule.She never was really well brought up, but it’s amazing how good tempered she is!Pat her on the head, and see how pleased she’ll be!A little kindness and putting her hair in papers would do wonders with her.
White Queen
[Gives a deep sigh and leans her head on Alice’s shoulder.]
I am so sleepy!
Red Queen
She’s tired, poor thing; smooth her hair—lend her your night cap—and sing her a soothing lullaby.
Alice
I haven’t got a night cap with me, and I don’t know any soothing lullabies.
Larger Image
Alice: Do wake up, you heavy things!
Red Queen
I must do it myself, then.
Hush-a-by lady, in Alice’s lap!
Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap;
When the feast’s over, we’ll go to the ball—
Red Queen and White Queen and Alice and all!
And now you know the words.
[She puts her head on Alice’s other shoulder.]
Just sing it through to meI’m getting sleepy too.
[Both queens fall fast asleep and snore loudly.]
Alice
What am I to do? Take care of two Queens asleep at once? Do wake up, you heavy things!
[All lights go out, leaving a mysterious glow on Alice and the queens.]
White Rabbit
[Blows trumpet off stage.]
The trial’s beginning!
Alice
What trial is it?
White Rabbit
Who stole the tarts.
Alice
I ate a tart.
White Rabbit
You’ve got to be tried.
Alice
I don’t want to be tried.
White Rabbit
You’ve got to be tried.
Alice
I won’t be tried—I won’t-I won’t!
SCENE TWO
Is a court room suggesting playing cards.The jurymen are all kinds of creatures.The King and Queen of Hearts are seated on the throne.The Knave is before them in chains.The White Rabbit has a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other.In the middle of the court stands a table with a large dish of tarts upon it.
White Rabbit
[Blows three blasts on his trumpet.]
Silence in the court!
Alice
[Watches jurymen writing busily on their slates.]
What are they doing?They can’t have anything to put down yet, before the trial’s begun.
Knave
They’re putting down their names for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.
Alice
Stupid things!
White Rabbit
Silence in the court!
Jurors
[Write in chorus.]
Stupid things!
One Juror
How do you spell stupid?
Alice
A nice muddle their slates will be in before the trial’s over.
Queen
There’s a pencil squeaking.Cut it down!
Jurors
[In chorus as they write.]
Squeaking—
King
[Wears a crown over his wig; puts on his spectacles as he says.]
Herald, read the accusation!
White Rabbit
[Blows three blasts on his trumpet, unrolls parchment scroll and reads to music.]
The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day;
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!
King
Consider your verdict!
White Rabbit
Not yet, not yet; there’s a great deal to come before that.
King
Call the first witness.
White Rabbit
First witness!
Hatter
[Comes in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other.]
I beg your pardon, your Majesty, for bringing these in, but I hadn’t quite finished my tea when I was sent for.
King
You ought to have finished; when did you begin?
Hatter
[Looks at the March Hare, who follows him arm-in-arm with the Dormouse.]
Fourteenth of March, I think it was.
March Hare
Fifteenth.
Dormouse
Sixteenth.
King
Write that down.
Jury
Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen—forty-five.Reduce that to shillings—
King
Take off your hat.
Hatter
It isn’t mine.
King
Stolen!
Jury
Stolen!
Hatter
I keep them to sell.I’ve none of my own.I’m a hatter.
Queen of Hearts
[Puts on her spectacles and stares at Hatter, who fidgets uncomfortably.]
King
Give your evidence and don’t be nervous, or I’ll have you executed on the spot.
[The Hatter continues to shift nervously from one foot to the other, looks uneasily at the Queen, trembles so that he shakes off both of his shoes, and in his confusion bites a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and butter.]
Hatter
I’m a poor man, your Majesty, and I hadn’t but just begun my tea—not above a week or so—and what with the bread and butter getting so thin—and the twinkling of the tea—
King
The twinkling of what?
Hatter
It began with the tea.
King
Of course twinkling begins with a T.Do you take me for a dunce?Go on!
Hatter
I’m a poor man and most things twinkled after that—only the March Hare said—
March Hare
I didn’t!
Hatter
You did.
March Hare
I deny it.
King
He denies it; leave out that part.
Queen
But what did the Dormouse say?
Hatter
That I can’t remember.
King
You must remember or I’ll have you executed.
Hatter
[Drops teacup and bread and butter and goes down on one knee.]
I’m a poor man, your Majesty.
King
If that’s all you know about it you may stand down.
Hatter
I can’t go no lower; I’m on the floor as it is.
King
Then you may sit down.
Hatter
I’d rather finish my tea.
King
You may go.
[The Hatter goes out hurriedly, leaving one of his shoes behind.]
Queen
[Nonchalantly to an officer.]
And just take his head off outside.
[But the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.]
King
Call the next witness!
White Rabbit
Next witness!
[The Duchess enters with a pepper pot, which she shakes about.Everybody begins to sneeze. March Hare sneezes and rushes out.]
King
Give your evidence!
Duchess
Shan’t!
White Rabbit
Your Majesty must cross-examine this witness.
King
Well, if I must, I must.What does your cook say tarts are made of?
Duchess
Pepper.
[The Duchess shakes the pot and the court sneezes.]
Dormouse
Treacle!
[The Duchess shakes the pot at him.He sneezes for the first time.]
Queen
Collar the Dormouse!Behead the Dormouse!Turn that Dormouse out of court!Suppress him!Pinch him!Off with his whiskers!
[The whole court is in confusion, turning the Dormouse out, and while it is settling down again the Duchess disappears.]
White Rabbit
The Duchess!
Court
She’s gone—she’s gone.
King
Never mind!
[In a low tone to the Queen.]
Really, my dear, you must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache! Call the next witness!
White Rabbit
[Fumbles with the parchment, then cries in a shrill little voice.]
Alice!
Alice
Here!
King
What do you know about this business?
Alice
Nothing whatever.
King
[To the jury.]
That’s very important.
White Rabbit
Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course.
King
Unimportant, of course I meant.Important—unimportant—unimportant—important.Consider your verdict!
[Some of the jury write “important” and some write “unimportant.”]
White Rabbit
There’s more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty; this paper has just been picked up.
Queen
What’s in it?
White Rabbit
[Fumbles with a huge envelope.]
I haven’t opened it yet, but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to—to somebody.
King
It must have been that unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.
Alice
Who is it directed to?
White Rabbit
It isn’t directed at all; in fact, there’s nothing written on the outside
[Takes out a tiny piece of paper.]
It isn’t a letter at all; it’s a set of verses.
Queen
Are they in the prisoner’s handwriting?
[The jury brightens up.]
White Rabbit
[Looks at the Knave’s hand. Knave hides his hand; the chains rattle.]
No, they’re not, and that’s the queerest thing about it.
[The jury looks puzzled.]
King
He must have imitated somebody else’s hand!
Knave
Please, your Majesty, I didn’t write it and they can’t prove I did; there’s no name signed at the end.
King
If you didn’t sign it that only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else you’d have signed your name like an honest man.
[At this there is a general clapping of hands.]
Queen
That proves his guilt.
Alice
It proves nothing of the sort!Why, you don’t even know what they’re about.
King
Read them!
White Rabbit
[Puts on his monocle.]
Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?
King
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end, then stop.
White Rabbit
“They told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him;
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
“I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
“My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
“Don’t let him know she liked him best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.”
King
That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet; so now let the jury—
Alice
If anyone of them can explain it, I’ll give him sixpence.I don’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it.
Jury
She doesn’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it.
King
If there’s no meaning in it, that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn’t try to find any.And yet I don’t know.
[Spreads out the verses on his knee and studies them.]
I seem to see some meaning after all.“Said I could not swim.”You can’t swim, can you?
Knave
[Shakes his head sadly and points to his suit.]
Do I look like it?
King
All right, so far; “We know it to be true,” that’s the jury, of course; “I gave her one, they gave him two” why that must be what he did with the tarts, you know—
Alice
But it goes on “they all returned from him to you.”
King
[Triumphantly pointing to the tarts.]
Why, there they are!Nothing can be clearer than that.Then again, “before she had this fit,” you never had fits, my dear, I think?
Queen
Never!
King
Then the words don’t fit you.
[There is dead silence, while the King looks around at the court with a smile.]
King
It’s a pun!
[Everybody laughs.Music.]
King
Let the jury consider their verdict.
Queen
No, no!Sentence first—verdict afterwards.
Alice
Stuff and nonsense!
Queen
[Furiously.]
Hold your tongue!
Alice
I won’t!
Queen
Off with her head!
Alice
Who cares for you?
Queen
Cut it off!
Alice
You’re nothing but a pack of cards!
[As lights go out and curtain falls all the characters hold their positions as if petrified.]
CURTAIN
SCENE THREE
[The curtain rises to show Alice still asleep in the armchair, the fire in the grate suffusing her with its glow.]
Carroll
Wake up, Alice, it is time for tea.
[Off stage the characters repeat their most characteristic lines, “Off with her head,” “Consider your verdict,” “Oh!my fur and whiskers”; the Duchess sneezes, the cat cries, as if the characters were fading away into the pack of real playing cards which shower through the mirror all over Alice. There is music.]
Alice
[Wakes, rises, and looks about in surprise and wonderment.]
Why——it was a dream!
CURTAIN
Text of title page:
Alice
in
Wonderland
A dramatization of Lewis Carroll’s
“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” and
“Through the Looking Glass”
by
Alice Gerstenberg
Author of
“The Conscience of Sarah Platt”,
“Unquenched Fire,” “A Little World,” etc.
Chicago
A. C. Mc. Clurg & Co.
1915